i’ve decided to vote for kris glen.
who is she? hell if i know.
but she’s proven to me that she has more sense, or at least is backed by people with more sense, than anyone else i’ve seen running for any office in new york this year.
i should explain.
it’s an election year in new york city. it’s always a year after the presidential election, which i think makes sense, as you can focus on the myriad of local races. and the democratic primary is next tuesday, and, as i’m a democrat, i’ll be voting in the primary for mayor and manhattan borough president and public advocate and various judges.
which brings me back to kris glen, who is running for some judge thing. i would tell you precisely which judge thing, but i shredded that part of her flyer as it also had my address on it. do you shred all your mail? you should if you don’t. it ain’t 1950 anymore, people. your identity is fragile.
anyway, i’ve been bombarded with flyers from everyone running for everything. it’s a daily stream of paper. and kirk gets each one too, which means that, since we live at the same address, being partners and all, we get two of everything.
except from good old kris glen, who is the first and only politician to have the brains or had the brains to hire a staff with the brains to do a simple merge-purge on the mailing list, and send one flyer to our address, with both of our names on it.
one flyer. one address. two names. kirk d. lawrence and james t. howard. it may have been the other way around. as i mentioned, i shredded it, so there’s no telling.
but my point is, here in this election where everyone is yammering on about how they are going to wisely spend our money, or spend our money more wisely than the other eight people running for mayor or seventy-two people running for borough president, suddenly we have someone who walks the walk.
because here in new york we have campaign financing, so all of these yahoos sending duplicate flyers are sending them on my dime. and so, because kris glen had the sense not to, she gets my vote.
is it a silly reason to vote for someone? perhaps. i happen to think that it isn’t, as i’m a strong believer in small things being indicators of big things. and if you read the half of the flyer that i didn’t shred, it says that she fought for hiv/aids, and tenants’ rights, the rights of the elderly and yada yada yada, just like they all say.
she could be judge dredd, or judge crater, or judge roy bean for all i know. when’s the last time you made an informed vote on a judge? you never have, and if you say you have, you are lying. no one knows who those fuckers are. you go in the booth, and it says vote for five judges, and there are five names, so you pull the lever for all five, or you don’t, and it makes no difference, because you’ve never heard of any of them. or maybe you do have a choice, and if you remembered to bring the clipping from the paper where it tells you who to vote for, you vote for them.
i’ll bet that most judges have been elected for purely intangible reasons. like their name was first on the ballot, or the other guy had a weird name, or it was a woman and people didn’t want to vote for a woman, or something like that.
so don’t tell me my reason is too random. it’s a hell of a lot better than your reason for voting for a judge.
vote for kris glen.
she can merge-purge with the best of them.
update: kris glen won! with 51% of the vote, which proves my point because she was listed before her only opponent, whose last name began with “m”. congratulations kris. i should point out that ms. glen will not be a judge. she was elected “manhattan surogate”. whatever the hell that is. all i know is that there are a lot of childless women in manhattan who will be very happy, and that kris glen will be extremely busy.
seriously, i have no idea what “manhattan surrogate” does. but if kris glen does it as well as she merge-purges, all of manhattan will sleep safely on her watch.
i should also point out, embarassingly enough for kris glen, that if you google her name i am now the thrid hit that comes up.
hey kris, i was only trying to help. really.