‘fessin’ up

ok, it was a cheap shot.

yes i used that poor vegetable woman to get you to read something i really care about, grammar. but be honest. if i had entitled yesterday’s blog “my grammar nitpicks” you would have blown by it at top speed. great thoughts, or to be honest slightly better than mediocre thoughts, left unread. this will not do.

hence the subterfuge. it’s all about packaging.

so, in the interest of karmic balance or whatever, here’s what i think about terri schiavo.
Continue reading “‘fessin’ up”

terri schiavo

well everyone else on the damn internet has weighed in on this, so why not me? my brief note at the end of yesterday’s blog notwithstanding.

i’m glad i waited to write this, because i have a bit more perspective now than if i had blogged about this, say, over the weekend, when, as one of my beloved former students used to say, “fire shot out of my ass.”

or “was shooting”. but that’s not the phrase she used.
Continue reading “terri schiavo”

the meat tray

i used to be vegetarian. hell, i was even a vegan for, like, five years or something. i protested on behalf of the animals for peta, lived my life as an example, gave away my entire leather shoe collection (including the most awesome collection of customized doc martens and goth boots from london that you can imagine), did all the “right” things.

now? i cook more and more meat at home, even though i hypocritically say quite often that i don’t really cook much meat at home.

this weekend, i won a meat tray. and damn was i excited.
Continue reading “the meat tray”

the rap clause

lil’ kim’s conviction caused me to rethink yesterday’s rules, and so, i give to you,

the rap clause: file this as a subpoint to the rule of famous. famous rappers are the exception to the fame rule–they are always convicted. why? ain’t it obvious? it’s a racial thing. there may be times, maybe most times, maybe nearly all times, when rappers are guilty, but i’ll bet that innocent rappers have nevertheless been convicted.

p diddy/puff daddy you say? not a rapper. please.

this, by the way, is an ideal blog entry to gizzogle.

now i’m off to eat lots of birthday pennsylvania dutch excess with the in-laws (and of course the hubby as well.) with apologies to dorothy parker, here’s my take:

oh life is a glorious cycle of food
a medley of extemporanea
discussing your next meal whilst eating’s not rude
and i am marie of roumania

cheers all–happy weekend!

justice in america

so, with the recent spate of criminal judgments against rich and famous people, i’ve sensed a pattern and can conclusively say that guilt or innocence in the american justice system comes down to one thing.

perception.

and if you think about it, there are apparently hard and fast rules to govern your fate in this system. i’ve thought and thought, and i think these formulas work pretty well. what do you think?
Continue reading “justice in america”

insane in the membrane

a mind is a terrible thing to face.

i have a number of long-standing stories i tell about myself. some of them are on here even. not all, though. as bad comedians say, i’ve got a million of ’em. and, as a bad blogger, so do i.

but i recently got called out, and rightly so, on one of my long-standing stories. and it’s got me thinking about how the brain in general, and my brain in particular, is working.
Continue reading “insane in the membrane”

necco wafers

mood: cranky? you bet. although i’m not by nature a complainer, or at least try not to be, my leg is killing me and is getting worse. i can’t stand up or walk for more than thirty seconds without shooting pains and whatnot.

so i’m gonna write about something that will make me smile and get my mind off of it. even though i’m sitting down and therefore not in much pain, i’m still thinking about it, and i need to not brood.

hence, necco wafers.
Continue reading “necco wafers”

the inverness cooter festival

i’m from floral city, florida originally, but that’s just a smaller town than the small town which is the county seat of citrus county–inverness, florida. citrus county (which, ironically, has little to no citrus, at least in a commercial sense) is a sleepy part of northwest central florida. it’s probably most famous for the manatees you can swim with in crystal river, and the nuclear plant.

but imagine my shock when i, having tried mightily to forget the whole place (none of my family and not too many people i keep up with live there), see the city of inverness featured on the daily show with jon stewart.

actually, not the city featured, but its cooter. festival.
Continue reading “the inverness cooter festival”

holiday shopping list

where to shop this year? try patronizing the businesses in bold on this list, which donated the majority of their money to democrats, and avoiding the others, which dontated the majority of their money to republicans.

i will even pledge not to eat at waffle house on my trip to florida this weekend. if you know me at all, you’ll know what a major sacrifice this is.

i can’t vouch for the veracity of this emailed list, so if you have any updates or corrections, let me know!
Continue reading “holiday shopping list”